Today’s post will depart a bit from my previous topics, and instead relate to my tagline: “If I fight back, I acknowledge the fight. I just do.” And this post isn’t about me; it’s about my 7 year old daughter.

I am always proud of my Little Lady, but I have never been prouder of her than I was tonight. After we finished dinner at a cafe, she gathered our garbage and carried it over to the trash receptacles, then stood there reading the signs about separating the trash from the recycling. However, as soon as she paused in front of the trash and didn’t move, two older men from different tables started yelling to her about how to open the trash cans. (You can pull the handle down or step on the pedal.)

She ignored them completely and kept reading, which, of course, made them more vocal. I finally called out that she’s reading the signs and she’s fine. One started arguing with me that the signs don’t tell her how to open the receptacles. I repeated that she’s fine. He settled into a disgruntled silence, and she continued to ignore us all.

She realized she couldn’t separate trash from recycling with her hands full, so she put everything down on a table behind her and sorted it all out, consulting the signs to confirm what should go where. She then demonstrated her utter competence at opening said trash receptacles and put everything where it belonged.

So, yes, I was pleased that she conscientiously separated the garbage from the recycling. I was delighted that she took it upon herself to clean up after dinner and that she just did it without talking about doing it. But I was absolutely OVER THE EVER-LOVING MOON to see the confidence, poise, and UNAPOLOGETIC COMPETENCE that she demonstrated in focusing on her task and completely ignoring the unsolicited (unnecessary, unhelpful) advice that came hurling her way while she fully claimed the time and space that she needed to do her thing. She didn’t defy or argue or even acknowledge. She ignored them as the gadflies they were and did what she knew was right.

I know I’m not doing a good job of explaining the significance of this. Some of you will get it because you have been in a position where you’ve been shouted down by someone who thought he knew better. And you will know how insidious that tiny act of acquiescence can be. Some of you won’t get it because you haven’t been in that position. You’ll say they were just trying to help. Yes, I get that. But they were not offering help. Offering help looks like, “May I help you? Do you need help?” They were hurling help indiscriminately her way, assuming they knew what she needed.

But she didn’t need help, so she ignored us all. I didn’t know she could do that. I didn’t know she would do that. I love that she did.